Good morning, friend!

So, lately I've gotten back into the habit of going to Starbucks everydaybefore work. Aside from the ethical (and fiscal) quandary I find myself in with regards to spending $4.52 on a triple tall soy latte, and the physiological effects their pseudo-separation of soy and regular milk practices have on my immune system (I am allergic to milk), there are many reasons for me not to go. But there are a couple of reasons I defy instinct and inclination and leave my house 10 minutes earlier to ensure my fix while still getting to work by 0800. (Among those reasons are: I'm easily addicted to caffeine, I love the taste of espresso and lattes, I'm too lazy to make breakfast, and... I want to.) But the number one reason why I return is the constant amusement I get with people who only see me for about 10 minutes intermittently throughout the week as they try to guess my gender. I can safely say that, after 3 weeks of going regularly, none of the baristas have figured out whether I'm a boy or a girl.

What does one do when they can't tell if their customer is a boy or a girl? I'll tell you. They do a couple of things. 1) They will say "Sir (or ma'am), can I get a drink started for you?" to every customer in front of or behind their ambiguous customer; but when they get to the customer in question, they will simply wait until that customer makes eye-contact, then ask what they want. 2) They will stare at the customer and decide they can't make up their minds, then wait until that customer tells the cashier his/her order, then wait for the cashier to relay the order. 3) They alternate their pronoun usage according to the day of the week: Monday=sir, Tuesday=ma'am, etc.

I'm glad I waited to write this post because this morning, one of the baristas I see semi-regularly surprised me with a very warm, amiable alternative. After the barista asked me my order (see situation # 1) I got up to the cashier, who smiled cheerfully and said, "Good morning, friend!" It felt as if she genuinely wanted to make me feel welcome without making either of us feel awkward per gender pronoun usage. I was extremely grateful for her kindness and wish not only that others act similarly, but that I could have thought of the best way to show my appreciation. Tipping seemed a little superficial, and I didn't want to draw attention by saying something like, "Thank you for not making me choose a gender this early in the morning," so I did the best thing I could do: I made eye-contact with her and smiled back, returning the greeting.

Thank you, Starbucks cashier, for your compassion. :-)